Real estate experts call it the ‘Valentine’s Day effect,’ in which the holiday’s emotional factor encourages partners to make major life decisions, including homebuying. And since purchasing a home can be inherently emotional, the holiday amplifies those feelings, often translating into a surge in home sales.
But aside from homeownership becoming a pivotal factor in the dating landscape, the end of February also marks the start of spring, and warmer weather can make house-hunting more appealing.
If you and your significant other are ready to make the enormous commitment of buying a home together, remember that proper planning and communication are crucial. Let us walk you through some steps you can take to make the journey as smooth as possible without ruining your relationship.
Be open about your current financial shape with your partner, such as your income, savings, investments, debts, credit scores, spending habits, and even financial goals. Do they keep all their savings in a checking account? Do they still have debts they need to pay off? How much is your partner’s monthly take-home pay? Are they living paycheck to paycheck? How do they pay their credit card bills? Every person has a completely different view of money based on how they grew up, so disclosing everything is a key step for understanding their financial habits and attitudes.
As you take this huge step of purchasing a home together, having money talks now builds trust and helps avoid conflict when it’s time for you to split the bills, setting you up for a more realistic journey ahead.
What things can you compromise on? What is one thing you won’t compromise on? If one of you happens to like a home’s layout but doesn’t love the aesthetics, such as paint or wallpaper, can you let go of the small things, knowing that you can renovate later on?
How important is walkability and proximity to public transportation?
What size home is comfortable for both your needs and budget?
Do we want a move-in-ready home or a fixer-upper? Do we have time to tackle renovations?
Clarifying these priorities and shared goals upfront can prevent conflicts and make decision-making so much easier for you and your partner. You will be on the same page throughout the process, especially when it’s time to move into the specifics of home buying.
If you’re making the same amount, a 50/50 split on the mortgage might be the obvious answer. But if you’re not, you’ll need to develop a system that works for both of you. For instance, you can do a 70-30 or even an 80-20 split. When one person pays for the mortgage, the other might handle other household expenses, such as groceries and utilities. Other couples might feel more comfortable with contributing an equal percentage of their income to both mortgage and other household expenses, such as taxes, maintenance, insurance, etc.
More importantly, be flexible with your plans and have an open conversation on compromising, especially if a partner gets a promotion or loses a job. Whatever life throws at you, make sure you’re both comfortable with your plans and can keep up with the changes.
Consulting each other along the way and acknowledging their input when it mattered most can help avoid unnecessary stress and make each other feel supported throughout the process.
From viewing properties, leading negotiations, to handling tons of paperwork, work with an experienced real estate agent who has a reputation for competency and credibility. If you can, meet with at least three agents before deciding who you are most comfortable working with.
Listen actively instead of preparing a rebuttal.
Acknowledge your partner’s concerns and provide reassurance.
Share what each of you needs from each other to feel supported.
Celebrate “small wins” and find moments to laugh together to maintain positivity.
Aside from these intentional check-ins, don’t forget to practice gratitude. Saying that you appreciate your partner and recognizing their efforts can go a long way. Remind each other why you’re in this together: to finally take the next step in your relationship and enjoy the benefits of homeownership.
